DOING THE RIGHT THING

I’m sure this has happened to you:  You are in a store and purchase something with cash.  When the clerk makes change, you realize that he has made a mistake and is giving you back more than the correct amount.  Maybe it’s a dollar; maybe it’s ten dollars.  What do you do?  You could pocket the extra cash and walk out.  No one would know.  But, of course, that’s not what you do.  Instead, you point out the error and return the extra money.

Why do we return the cash?  When I have asked people this question, they answer that it is simply “the right thing to do.”  That is, it is a matter of personal morality.  No one says, “Gee, what if I got caught?”  or “What if it’s a trick?  I’d be embarrassed.”  We do some things—returning change received in error, holding doors open for others, take turns exiting a crowded parking lot following a concert—not because of the possibility of rewards or punishments, but because we have internalized a code of conduct.  And this raises a broader question:  How do we form our personal rules of conduct?  

Children are not born with genetically inherited moral codes.  They take things that aren’t theirs; they lie to their parents; they disrespect others’ property.  Moral behavior has to be learned, and initially, at least, that education is a parental responsibility.  It is parents who first teach their children what they should and should not do, initially simply by approval or disapproval and then by linking rewards and punishments to those approvals and disapprovals.  As a child develops language and cognitive skills, the parents can begin to explain that some behaviors are “right” and others are “wrong,” without assigning specific rewards and punishments to those behaviors.  Eventually, individuals develop their own rules for moral behavior, rules that no longer require external rewards or punishments.  They create an internal code of conduct.

That’s not to say that we all have the same moral code or that everyone’s moral code is developed to the same extent.  Those differences are part of what makes life interesting—and frustrating.  Growing up, we all had classmates who lied or cheated or bullied others.  Some of those—incipient delinquents—I lost track of, either because they dropped out of high school or took off for parts unknown following graduation.  My hope is that they were just slow learners in the universal class on moral sensibility and eventually internalized moral codes.  Frankly, I have my doubts.

Does religion play a role in this process?  I would be surprised to hear someone say that they would return the extra cash because it would be a sin to keep it or that it would be against God’s commandments.  Maybe that’s what they mean when they say that it’s the right thing to do.  More likely, in my view, they are simply pointing out that it is part of our shared societal moral code.

Our memory of childhood is imperfect, but I do not recall my parents ever explaining that the reason I shouldn’t steal was because God had declared stealing to be a sin.  I certainly didn’t use such an explanation with my own children.  And yet everyone in my family has accepted this as part of his or her personal moral code—part of doing the right thing.  I certainly don’t believe that those with a religious faith have a corner on moral behavior.  In fact, my personal experience is that there is no overall difference between the moral behavior of those who have a religious faith and those who do not.

And perhaps this is the fundamental point I would like to make here:  We do not develop a moral code because it is rooted in a set of rules laid down by God.  Rather, our morality stems from our human condition and the need to get along in a cooperative social order.  Religion isn’t the basis for our morality.  Instead, religion simply serves as a rationalization.

© 2018 John M. Phillips